Here it is finally !
I am looking at the end of my college life and am in a bit of a quandary as to how I feel now. I feel both good and bad..good that this place was wonderful and gave me a magnitude of memories that could leave me occupied with imaginational reruns even if I am stranded in an island like Tom Hanks from cast away, Bad that it is all coming to an end.
Of all the things that come to my mind when I think about college, the first thing that strikes my mind is the exams.
All weirdest, philosophical, “Socrates-would-be-damned” intelligible questions will come to my mind when am halfway thru the exam.
Here are some examples . ” How did Man invent language, I mean how are we communicating with each other thru these entities called alphabets” and then I would bask in my intellectual moment for some 5-10 minutes and the next thought will come which would be like ” How did man invent dosa? I mean how did he get the idea to mix the ingredients and make the semi solid paste and then pour them onto to a hot metal plate! How did he connect all these ? ” and then the basking would begin again 😉
Once my brain takes a break from being intellectually awesome, the nature admirer in me would be unleashed, I would see a small fly squatting in the hall and then my inner voice would go ” wow how great nature is” . The exam would be over by then.
This could possibly mean why my marks were almost always 5 times lesser than the first mark of the class 😉
What amazed me all the while was, all these 5 years , not a single time did I think of the same things. I would have easily written some 200 exams in the past 5 years and not a single thought repeated again.
Exams were always fun. They were the academic equivalent of hollywood movies to me and the faculties did not have a hard time correcting my papers too. They would take breaks from correcting papers by correcting my paper. 😀 ( However, as the final year approached, all that came to an end 😦 )
The next thing I enjoyed the most outta my college was Wi-fi !
Back then there was no restrictions to the bandwidth and boy that was the best time to me and my roomie !
Him and I would have easily drained 4Tb the past few years. 100s of movies, 50 complete TV series, 3 full sets of anime and a truck load of Ebooks and around 20 discographies 😀 My computer is the entertainment paradise now 😉 Even as I type this, the latest episodes of Hannibal are being downloaded 😀
It is not just these that spruced up my stay here. The thing that made my home feel like a hostel and hostel feel like a home were my friends. I used to be “hostel sick” during vacations !
One of the best ones opened up a whole big, beautiful world of music to me. Even to this date at random times when I listen to a favorite song, I would think of him. One showed me what it is to be dedicated to something that one does. One showed the true meaning of adjusting to the time and place that one is put in. The amount of changes brought about in me by my close ones are endless.
Life was so incredibly awesome those days !
Now am going to have some consideration for the reader and stop my rant here.
College life is fairly similar to every one who goes thru it, but in their own ways they makes humongous differences to the ones experiencing it ( or at least in my case it did)
The patience had worn too thin, it was time to break it she thought…
She took off to her feet, her mind racing through a million such instances..
With the weight in her heart increasing exponentially, her hands involuntarily searched for support
The railing was cruelly cold,just like him..
The rain had left thin droplets of water hanging on,
ready to drop anytime, Showing an inverted microscopic image of the world before.
She had gone numb to it, her fingers trailed on their tips, killing them softly
Thin lockets of her hair swayed in rhythm with the wind, humming hymns to their tunes.
She felt his presence behind,
the arrogance of the gender had drained,
he was approaching with an application of apology,
She held firm, firm on stand, mentally and physically
Quickly expecting the defeat his words would face, he went in for the ultimate weapon of love.
The embrace swept away everything cold, both from the fingers and their hearts for they held on together
She shrugged him off softly,
Was it anger or was it greed for more?
Entwined as one, not a word was uttered, but volumes were expressed…
Him promising a better tomorrow,
Her promising an ampler patience.
The more I think about my unavailing conversations with an idiot, the more riled up I get
How Idiosyncratic yet so Brilliant
How Intricate yet so Wide
How Baneful yet so full of Bliss
How Insignificant yet so Meaningful
How Empty yet so Full
How Arduous yet so Compelling
Life, how it is the longest event, a living thing would ever experience, yet branded short
The world we live in is a juicy yet dry Ironic oxymoron
For all the Indian readers,
Take this as a “HR” exercise.
The next time you meet a person, be it anyone. Let it be your mom, dad, the neighbor, the person who sits next to you in the mode of transportation you take in routine.
Ask them this simple question.
” Do you like Mahatma Gandhi?”
You will be astonished at the answers. I would have asked at least about a thousand people around me now and just five ( yes, just five!!!) have told me they like Gandhi.
I know it is a bit too soon to be concluding this post on what I feel about these negative answers from the population sample that I analyzed, but let me just blurt it out.
I asked them a second question, ” what in Gandhi, do you not like?”
I was even more astonished at their answers. More than half of the people, did not have a reason.
I would solemnly agree that we have reached an age, a time where hating the most cherished/most celebified person, gets attention from all over the place. My mind screams, Is that why this gandhian hate has so unknowingly entered all our subconsciousness?
In a recent book (Joy of hate by Greg Gufeld), a series of lines struck me hard !
“You know what really pisses me off? People who are always pissed off. Or pretend to be pissed off. We’ve created a new, frantic world of the enraged, the phony grievance, the manufactured outrage. If you make fun of something or say something truthful, someone, somewhere will be unhappy. Or say they’re unhappy, even when they’re not. When they’re bored. When they’re lonely. When they need attention. They come for you, whining, crying, screaming. And they are coming for you—the children of the corn, with a platform.”
He starts the book with these lines.
I feel something very similar to what Greg feels when a person I know/dont know tell me they have no reason in hating Gandhi.
He is one of the most important leaders of our nation and from my point of view, HE deserves more respect than this.
I am even more ashamed of the fact it was Richard Attenborough, a Brit, who took the initiative to take a movie on gandhi, while our directors were busy with their incessant scripts of puppy romance that is as naive as the attempts of villains in the same movies to get to the heroine.
I am one of those people who pride on having an amazing memory. In the forgive and forget routine of our lives, I generally do the former but hardly the latter. The memories not only pertain to the things am victimized with, they also pertain to the things that I did on/for others.
This is one of the darkest memories that haunt me when my brain takes a break and lingers on, possibly in a waiting room or during a long distance travel when technology forfeits its duty of entertaining me.
This is about an aunt who passed away when I was a kid. Let me give it to the reader that you might be disappointed if you are looking for something that is emotionally plushy in this post.
She passed away when I was doing my 4th grade and just like everyone is praised for partly who they are and partly who they wanted to be for the one who is praising, she is one whom everyone at home misses.
This event is etched in my mind to such an extent that I remember the very exact place, the time and every intricate details of the scenario.
Everything was going fine with my aunt and suddenly things of medical concern started popping up and due to the inadequacy of the doctors in Ooty, she was taken to Coimbatore for diagnosis. My uncle was staying with us for the time being and was out of nails in his fingers to find out what was wrong with her. It was around 9 pm that day and the tv was on when the ominous ring of the telephone spread out into the air molecules around us.
My uncle took up the receiver and the mild sense of fear on his face on hearing the caller showed that he knew the person on the other side of the line had news for him.
He whimpered and gave the phone to mom. She was stunned and kept the receiver back to its abode. I asked what it was, my uncle gasped that she was diagnosed with brain tumor and the reaction I gave for that still brings a chill to my spine.
Our home there had a long corridor which connects all the rooms and is one straight path. I ran across the length and breadth squealing in joy. There were tears that were trying to break through and I dont know if my actions or his own thoughts triggered his breakdown right then.
But why I gave that reaction was that, right that evening, in the news it was told that a cure for brain tumor was being worked on.
Little did I know that, the cure hasn’t been successful to this date.
I expected alteast one of the three to ask me to explain why I did that, but none did and when I explained my actions, it was no longer relevant.
I dont know if anyone remembers this and I dont know if my uncle would have taken this to his head and it would have ran down deep to his heart or if he left it as an exhibition of a mix of ignorance and innocence as all kids do.
Either way I will never know given the possibilities that even small things tend to look magnified at harsh times and even harsh things seems to lose their severity when mind is filled with the sorrow of something/someone dear.
I will never know and neither is my uncle a person who would exhibit even having something like that occurred.
or at least I guess so
Is it not wrong to hurt a person’s feelings or has the lasher become that numb and insensitive to the extent that the silky softness of a person’s heart has become obsolete to reach the person’s mental grasp.
In another perspective, this is a strong form of sadism too.As a note, I would like to express the extreme effort taken by me from refraining to usage of unparlimentary words for addressing you, wretched lasher.